I love Elvis. I’m watching Clambake, and I just love it. These movies make me wish I lived in the 60s. I think I was born in the wrong era. These women are georgous…
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Ok, that was last Sunday and I couldn’t think of anything else to write. Now, I am so overwhelmed, I have to write something or I’m going to crazy. There is so much to do in my house, at work, financially, I’m starting to freak out a little. My house…there is stuff everywhere. So much mail, the cat’s toys and crap the cat hides and I have yet to find, dishes, towels, pillows, just STUFF. It’s driving me nuts! I have a pile of bills I need to pay. My insurance changed at some point and my copays went up, and they aren’t covering all of my testing like they used to, and I have to pay for x-rays I got at the chiropractor, and they all came to me in like a matter of a week and so I’m feeling a huge stress. So what did I do? I bought a $50 pair of cowboy boots because I love them and they were cheap at a consignment shop that I have fallen in love with. Yes, I still have the ability to pay my other bills, I just have to actually sit down and do it. My one account has been out of checks forever, so I finally ordered new checks, only to find out that Chase had given me the wrong routing number, so I can’t use the checks. So then I had to fight with Chase to get them to give me my money back, which they finally did, and I just ordered new checks on Friday, so maybe I can finally get the tithe I keep writing out in my register written out and given to the church so I’ll stop spending money that isn’t really there.
I went to a new church today that I really liked…then drove around Bastrop this afternoon to just look at houses and I saw about 10 more churches, a couple of which actually have buildings and I want to check out their websites to see what they’re about. I know there are single people that live in this town that are my age (not that that is a reason to go to church) because I see them randomly at the store sometimes, I just wonder what they do, where they hang out. They have to be at some church around here somewhere….or maybe they aren’t and that’s the problem. I love Bastrop, and I love my house, but I need community and it isn’t happening. Of course, I haven’t exactly made an effort either. I do not know any of my neighbors, except the ones that that I work with that live in my neighborhood. How sad is that? I need to get involved. Bastrop has a community theater group that I think would be so much fun to be a part of, but I work for a hotel that requires 95% of my life, and the other 5% are for eating and sleeping. What I would give to be in charge of my own time, my own life.
I did pick up a Bastrop Business directory today while walking around downtown. Maybe something in there will inspire me.
It is now 10:15pm and I am dreading work tomorrow so much that I am literally sick to my stomach. I just finished reading the book No More Mondays by Dan Miller, and he says that Sunday evenings has the highest rate of suicides, and most heart attacks in men are on Mondays. NO KIDDING. I completely understand how that can be possible. I am begging God to show me another way, an option, an out, an opportunity, a new beginning, a lifeline for crying out loud. I hate being miserable.
And now that I have put off work all day, I’m going to end up staying up late doing this stuff and then having to get up early and I’ll be cranky all day tomorrow. Because if I don’t do it, I’m going to go into work behind tomorrow, and get my ass kicked by all the people waiting on me. I feel sick.
On the bright side, I did get some cool boots today.
